Piano piano sale questa sensazione di esser fuori posto d’un tratto solo il buio per me rimane il vuoto intorno e poi . . .
Looking back over the past few months, I can definitely see improvement in how I feel and what I can do. I still miss how resilient and capable I used to be, but I’m able to hope now that I might possibly sometime get back to “normal.” For now, it’s a matter of making sure I’m consistent with doing everything I am capable of doing. And maintaining a good routine.
I don’t go out much; just church on Sundays, library day on Saturdays, nature study on Mondays, and dates with Tony every week.
Every morning I do homeschool with Axa (and sometimes Raj). Today we were doing science, and we got to burn some food to see that it had stored energy inside. The children loved watching an almond, a little pile of oatmeal, and several fennel seeds go up in smoke. Then we talked about the plant and animal kingdoms, and what individual specimens go in each. When I presented coral, Raj proclaimed it to be “a moving, logical plant.” I wasn’t able to get a very understandable explanation of how he arrived at that classification, but I thought it was a pretty interesting one.
After homeschooling we all go outside, where Tony and I work together on our business while we watch the kids. After lunch we have quiet time, and then I try to get them outside again until dinner. And that’s a typical day. In my spare time, I read, study languages, or blog. I try to make sure to walk outside barefoot for at least a few minutes per day.
I’ve also decided to actually learn a new piano piece, for the first time in probably fifteen years. I picked out a Mozart sonata at random, and I practice it every day. I used to prefer more romantic, emotionally involved musical extravagances, like Rachmaninoff or Mussorgsky or Chopin. But Mozart’s measured, intricate prose is perfect for me now. He gives me a sense of a world well-ordered.
Life is good, really. And getting better.